Christmas Movie #5
Synopsis: To
paraphrase Clark W. Griswold, “it’s the hap, hap, happiest Christmas when Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny
fucking Kaye.”
Blurb From the VHS
Jacket: “White Christmas is a treasury of Irving Berlin classics, among
them ‘Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep’, ‘Sisters’, ‘Blue Skies’, and the
beloved holiday song, ‘White Christmas.’”
What Did I Learn?:
Every single episode of Three’s Company
was based on a moment in this film when the Innkeeper’s receptionist overhears
bits and pieces of Bing’s telephone conversation, and comes to a completely
wrong-headed conclusion.
You Might Like This
Movie If: You know that Bing Crosby is a cool, all-around great guy.
Really?: 1) In the opening War in Europe scene, the
soldiers are wearing the cleanest uniforms this side of the costume department.
2) Bing and Danny do a number in drag – yeesh. Oh, and how many times does the
audience have to hear that fucking “Sisters” song? 3) Bing and Danny do a
minstrel show...a MINSTREL SHOW. 3) So wait – the receptionist makes a wrong-headed
assumption, and yet later she’s clearly in on the plan to keep the General away
from the TV set. Something doesn’t compute. 4) I have to wonder: where in the
world did all of Wallace and Davis’ backup dancers, stage hands, musicians, etc
stay in Vermont? There’s no way that inn had even nearly enough rooms for that
travelling circus. 5) Gee, who wouldn’t willingly give up their Christmas plans
with family in order to put on a military uniform, trek up to Vermont, and
honour the guy responsible for their post-traumatic stress disorder?
Rating: White Christmas is generally considered
a holiday classic, but I found it tedious, overly long, and just plain stupid
in places. Even as a musical, White
Christmas isn’t terribly entertaining; many of the songs are less than
inspired (“What can you do with a general?”, being a prime example), and we
hear some of them over and over again until it just isn’t funny. I cannot recommend this movie. 4/10
stars.
Would it Work For a
BAD MOVIE NIGHT?: Nope
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0047673/
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