Saturday, December 22, 2012

The Night They Saved Christmas (1984)

Christmas Movie #8

Synopsis: Santa Claus helps out Big Oil.

Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “When an aspiring young geologist is offered a job at a firm near the North Pole, he uproots his family to bring them there – unaware that the effects of his new job will destroy the North Pole, and Santa Claus. With the help of Santa’s head elf, the family is taken on a fantastical roller coaster ride through the ice wonderland... only minutes away from the destruction of Santa’s paradise.”

What Did I Learn?: Apparently, Santa really hates “Jingle Bells”.

Really?: 1) So, is Santa’s home in the North Pole itself (which I’m pretty sure is just really cold ocean), or somewhere on the Nunavut coast? And why is there day and night, when that area of the world would be in perpetual darkness at Christmas? And I’m also pretty sure there aren’t many comfortable homes up there, and that you can’t wear light winter clothing, as the characters do. 2) Why does Santa inform them there’s a huge oil deposit at Site A? Why isn’t he concerned about despoiling the Arctic environment and wildlife? 3) Funny how Santa never actually does anything to prevent the destruction of his home besides taking dude’s wife and kids to North Pole City for a magical experience. I was expecting Santa to defuse the explosives, and it never happens. 4) Dude’s boss is a mean old man a la Ebenezer Scrooge; instead of focusing on the kids, wouldn’t it have been far more effective (and interesting) to have shown him the true meaning of Christmas?

Rating: The legendary Art Carney does his best with The Night They Saved Christmas, but the script is atrocious, the special effects and matte painting backgrounds are bargain-basement quality, and most of the other performances are loud, phony or just plain God-awful (I can understand the child actors being bad, but American Graffiti’s Paul LeMat? He and Jaclyn Smith have zero, and I mean zero chemistry). I cannot recommend this movie. 3/10 stars.

Would it Work For a BAD MOVIE NIGHT?: Only if you play a game of: “take a drink every time one of the little brats screams.”


No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.