Saturday, April 1, 2017

The Jerky Boys (1995)

Happy April Fool’s Day! 
Synopsis: It’s basically 81 minutes of “Do you have Prince Albert in a can? Then you’d better let him out!,” punctuated by scenes of Alan Arkin asking: “what the hell is a ‘fruity-ass’”? 
Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “Hold the phone! Here’s the first big-screen adventure from the hot comedy recording artists behind two platinum albums - The Jerky Boys!” 
What Did I Learn?: “Sizzle chest,” “fruity little bastard,” “fruity ass,” “sweetie cakes,” “beefy tits,” “meat lips,” “milky-licker,” “squeaky balls,” “liver lips,” “sweetie pants,” and “barrel ass” are all highly unusual, and therefore strangely memorable insults. 
You Might Like This Movie If: You love prank phone calls
Really?: 1) So, Uncle Freddy (William Hickey) turns out to be a long-lost acquaintance from Ernie’s (Arkin), and the whole thing has zero significance on the story. 2) I’m pretty sure Mrs. B wouldn’t be able to move, let alone run, when she had those cement galoshes on her feet. 3) Funny how the plot kept placing Johnny and Kamal into situations where they needed to make prank phone calls, isn’t it? 4) Did somebody seriously pay $8.99 plus tax for a copy of this film? 
Rating: The Jerky Boys delivers a few genuinely funny moments (the legendary Ozzy Osbourne makes a wonderful cameo appearance as a grumpy band manager), but it’s otherwise a tiresome romp marred by terrible acting and a dopey script. I cannot recommend this movie. 4.5/10 stars. 
Would it Work For a Bad Movie Night?: Absolutely! Take a drink any time you hear the phrase “low-lifes from Queens.” 

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