Saturday, December 31, 2016

The War of the Roses (1989)

Synopsis: It’s basically 117 minutes of Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglass throwing glass figurines at each other as Danny DeVito smugly moves the story along. 

Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “Once in a lifetime comes a motion picture that makes you feel like falling in love all over again. This is not that movie.” 

What Did I Learn?: Nobody wants to hear your cutesy-poo story about how you bought the perfect set of crystal wine goblets while vacationing in Paris. 

You Might Like This Movie If: You figure it must be about gardening.
Really?: Hold on... a number of characters mention Oliver’s (Douglas) role in preparing for a Senate confirmation hearing and then....nothing. We never see a minute of the proceedings, even though Oliver is clearly becoming unglued, and a nationally-televised meltdown might have made an entertaining scene. 

Rating: I wanted to like The War of the Roses, but wow.... it never should have been made in the first place. While I don’t mind a good black comedy now and then (Death Becomes Her, is a good example), this film is far too mean-spirited for my taste, and even worse, it isn’t very funny (unless your idea of humour is watching Douglass get socked in the nuts, and then take a tumble down the stairs for the 15th time). I cannot recommend this movie. 3/10 stars. 

Would It Work For a Bad Movie Night?: No, but take a drink any time Oliver and Barbara stop behaving like rational human beings.

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