Thursday, December 29, 2016

The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990)

Synopsis: It’s basically The Big Sleep, or The Maltese Falcon featuring scantily-clad women, explosions, and X-rated wisecracks from a foul-mouthed Fonzie. 

Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “He’s on the money, off the record, and over the top. FORD FAIRLANE Rock’N’Roll Detective.” 

What Did I Learn?: 1) If you’re ever holding an adversary prisoner, and he urges you to throw away your pistol and fight him “mana-a-mano,” don’t. Just don’t. 2) Masturbating with a cheese grater is “slightly amusing, but mostly painful.” 3) Ford Fairlane is so amazing, he has his own toll-free number: 1-800-UNBELIEVABLE. 4) Ford Fairlane apparently fucked Clint Eastwood. 

Really?: The Adventures of Ford Fairlane isn’t meant to be taken all that seriously, so I can overlook Ford (Andrew Dice Clay) basically stumbling on to every clue without even trying, and the koala bear coming back from the dead, but I had a bit of trouble believing: a) his long-suffering girlfriend/receptionist Jazz(Lauren Holly in a nice performance) would stay with him as long as she has, or b) a milkshake that includes a shot of alcohol is somehow every bit as flammable as gasoline. 

Rating: I have to give The Adventures of Ford Fairlane a bit of a mixed review. While the story is ridiculously contrived, and doesn’t make a lot of sense (see: “Really?” and “What Did I Learn?”), the Diceman delivers some pretty funny zingers, and the film is a lot of fun if you can put your brain on “pause” for a couple of hours, and if you don’t have a politically-correct sense of humour. Oh, and watch for Robert (Freddy Krueger) Englund as a whacked-out British hit man. He’s a scream. 7/10 stars.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.