Monday, October 29, 2018

Death Before Dishonor (1987)

Let’s Get Those Terrorists Movie #1
Synopsis: Fred Dwyer shoots a bunch of terrorists and otherwise wonders what happened to his acting career. 
Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “They attacked his embassy, kidnapped his commanding officer and assassinated his men. Now, he must take foreign policy into his own hands.” 
What Did I Learn?: 1) You can tell that a man is a terrorist by looking into his eyes. 2) If you really want to respect a man, you paint both sides of the rocks in his garden. (I still don’t know what to make of that exchange).   
Really?: 1) See: “What Did I Learn?” 2) So, the only good Arab in this movie is secretly a Mossad agent? 3) That impromptu debate between Burns and Elli (Joanna Pacula) regarding morality and America’s Middle East policy must be heard to be believed did writer John Gatliff seriously think Burns makes a convincing and coherent argument? 4) Funny how Colonel Halloran (Brian Keith) has his hand seemingly destroyed by an electric drill but it doesn’t slow him down or impact his fighting abilities a whit when the shit later hits the fan. 5) The villain’s name is Jihad…haha! 6) So, Burns is somehow able to singlehandedly (and accurately) use a rocket launcher while driving a jeep, but the idiot terrorists can’t hit a thing with their machine guns?
Rating: Death Before Dishonor is a long-forgotten (and deservedly so), clichéd, badly-paced, and mindlessly jingoistic 1980s action film that features some atrocious acting (Paul Winfield looks embarrassed to be there), awful dialogue (see: “What Did I Learn?” And “Really?” ), and not a hint of subtlety. At least it’s unintentionally funny in places. I cannot recommend this movie. 3/10 stars.

Would it Work for a Bad Movie Night?: Of course! Take a drink any time a motor vehicle crashes through a camel-drawn fruit cart or the US Ambassador says something super-weenish along the lines of: “we need to do this by the book, Sergeant!” or “we’re not here to cause trouble.” 

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