Kuffs (1992)

I could have used this for my tribute to revenge-themed movies. 

Synopsis: Ne’er do well stirs up trouble when he launches an investigation into his brother’s recent murder….wait, didn’t I just review Get Carter? 

Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “When you have attitude who needs experience?”

What Did I Learn?: 1) “Love and kisses on all your pink parts” is NOT an acceptable message for a greeting card. 2) Without women, there would be no civilization. 3) Harold Faltermeyer apparently ran out of creative musical ideas after he scored Beverly Hills Cop. 

You Might Like This Movie If: You'll watch anything that features Bruce Boxleitner. 

Really?: 1) So, the villain isn’t really into grabbing real estate at a discount, he’s really into art theft, and he wants the rent-a-cops to look the other way? Or is he into both? This isn’t made clear. 2) Is there any reason Maya Carlton (Milla Jovovich) has an Eastern European accent while her parents are wealthy WASPs or are we supposed to overlook that fact? 3) I’m shocked that Ted didn’t bite the dust (or press charges against George for poisoning him) after he drank that coffee laced with a LOT of tranquilizers. 4) Funny how George (Slater) is required to attend the police academy every day while he manages the patrol-special shop, yet aside from one scene of him running along the beach with his colleagues, this is never again mentioned. When does he actually sleep? 

Rating: I hadn’t seen Kuffs since I first watched it in 1992, so I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect when I popped the VHS tape into my machine. Overall, Kuffs is a fun action-comedy that doesn’t always make sense (see: “Really?”), but never takes itself too seriously, either. Check it out if you’ve ever wondered how Slater would handle the role of Axel Foley, or if you really want to enjoy a few minutes of Jovovich dancing in her underwear. 6.5/10 stars. 

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104647/?ref_=nv_sr_1