Halloween Movie #3 (I don’t think I’ll be reviewing Blade II, or Blade Trinity)
Synopsis: Samurai Shaft shoots, stabs, slices, slashes sanguinary-suckers.
Blurb From the VHS Jacket: "Wesley Snipes (US Marshalls, Passenger 57, Murder at 1600) stars as the tortured soul BLADE - possessing powers greater than any man or creature of the night"
What Did I Learn?: Apparently, vampires receive extensive training in martial arts and small arms combat after they become undead.
You Might Like This Movie If: You know that vampires are nothing but trouble.
Really?: 1) Funny how Blade never gets a drop of blood on his nifty trenchcoat. 2) So wait, Blade has an unknown blood disorder, and he rescues a hematologist...and she just happens to also be a cute black chick? 3) The long-lost ancient vampire temple is located under modern-day LA? 4) I realize Officer Krieger screwed up, but is it really a good idea to ice a cop? Aside from generating an investigation, isn’t it useful to have police officers on your payroll? 5) Is it safe to inject yourself with essence of garlic? And how long does it take to create a vaccine for an unknown blood disorder? It’s more than a day, right?
Rating: I feel a bit guilty writing this review. Blade received a lot of positive reviews when it opened, Wesley Snipes is quite good as the title character, and the film is obviously a great ‘popcorn’ movie. Trouble is, I lost most of my interest in big summer blockbusters years ago, and once you take away the explosions and chop-socky action sequences, you’re left with a dumb, and highly contrived storyline (see “Really?”). Maybe Blade could have worked if the writers had stuck to Blade and Whistler taking on Deacon Frost, but the balderdash about resurrecting a vampire god was just too hokey for me. If you enjoy comic book-inspired action flicks, you’ll get plenty of thrills and spills from Blade, but I cannot recommend this movie. 5/10 stars.
Would It Work For a Bad Movie Night?: I think so.