Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)

Synopsis: Hey, it’s a Woody Allen movie, which means you’ll probably see a bunch of white, neurotic, well-educated, upper-middle-class New Yorkers wandering the city and discussing their personal problems, and hear a lot of jazz in the background. 

Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “Once again, Woody Allen has managed to combine deep poignancy with hilarious comedy.” 

What Did I Learn?: Child molestation is a touchy subject. [That’s a quote from the film, btw] 

You Might Like This Movie If: you're looking for a discreet and rather sophisticated method for making a sexual overture. 

Really?: 1) Holy shit, take a drink any time Allen introduces, fails to develop and then discards a new character. 2) Wait, David (Sam Waterston in an uncredited role) meets Holly (Diane Wiest) and April (Carrie Fisher), and then attempts to romance both of them? They’re friends! They’re going to talk to each other! How could he possibly make that work? 

Rating: Hannah and Her Sisters is a bit disjointed, and tries to tell a few too many stories with a few too many characters, but it’s an otherwise charming, intelligent, funny, and even poignant look at three women and the men who love them. Be sure to catch a blink-or-you'll-miss-him appearance by John Turturro. Highly recommended. 9/10 stars. 

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091167/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Father of the Bride (1950)

Synopsis: The expanding pressures of his daughter’s impending nuptials force a mild-mannered-but-uptight middle-class lawyer to become… slightly grumpy. 

Blurb From the DVD Jacket: “The Bride gets the THRILLS! Father gets the BILLS!” 

What Did I Learn?: In 1950, you could apparently rent an orchestra for $85. [To be fair, that’s $948 in 2020 dollars]

You Might Like This Movie If: You know it isn't easy to pull off a successful wedding. 

Really?: 1) What was the point of giving Kay (a very young Elizabeth Taylor) a couple of brothers when neither of them have more than a few lines and we get to know almost nothing about them? Ok, I realize this film is called “Father of the Bride,” but I’m shocked that Stanley (Spencer Tracy) appears to be the only fleshed out character in this film. 2) Ok, Stanley and Ellie had a small, intimate wedding; we get that, but come on - when the wedding planner tells you that you’re going to have to remove furniture and doors from your beloved house in order to accommodate all of the wedding guests, and they’re still going to feel cramped like sardines, go out and rent a fucking banquet hall. 

Rating: I hadn’t seen the Spencer Tracy version of Father of the Bride until this summer, so I naturally compared it to the 1991 Steve Martin remake, which I think is superior in some respects, including the development of other characters (see: “Really?”, #1) Father of the Bride is a very low-key comedy that delivers far more moments of mild amusement than actual laughs (Tracy never completely loses his cool, for instance), but  I liked Tracy’s portrayal of Stanley Banks, and there’s something genuinely charming about this movie. 8/10 stars. 

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0042451/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_5

Natural Born Killers (1994)

Please click the link to remind my review of Badlands, a flawed but much better treatment of the Charles Starkweather / Caril Fugate spree killings. 

Synopsis: Oliver Stone exposes America’s depraved passion for violent entertainment by making a completely unwatchable cinematic turd that glorifies two horrible human beings. 

Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “Director Oliver Stone brings you a bold new look at a country seduced by fame, obsessed by crime and consumed by the media.” 

What Did I Learn?: 1) The media is like the weather, only it’s man-made weather. 2) Nobody can stop fate, nobody can. 3) You can’t hide from your shadow. 4) It’s pretty hard to beat the king. 5) Repetition works. Repetition works. 

You Might Like This Movie If: You've always wanted to see a natural born killer in action. 

Really?: 1) Funny how Mickey and Mallory enjoy a world-wide cult following (which is ridiculous in itself), but they’re able to drive through the Southwestern US murdering cops and civilians alike without encountering too many difficulties. Is there an actual manhunt for these two? 2) I had a bit of trouble believing Mallory would get upset with Mickey for murdering the native shaman after they had iced dozens of innocent victims. 3) So, wait - Mickey and Mallory are both bitten by rattlesnakes, and they’re not only able to drive to a drugstore, but run away when trouble ensues and then get into a standoff with police? 

Rating: Ugh. Much like The Rocky Horror Picture Show and Love and a .45, Natural Born Killers is one of the few films I decided to review even after I abandoned it mid-way through. Honestly, I don’t know where to begin - NBK is pretentious (what’s the deal with all the stock images?), far too long, and loaded with so many bad performances and gratuitously violent images that its simultaneously impossible to take seriously and extremely difficult to stomach. NBK doesn’t work on any level; it fails as a condemnation of American violence because it lionizes Mickey and Mallory and portrays law enforcement as every bit as evil as them; it fails to tell us anything about the lead characters or what makes them tick because the script is cartoonish (Stone himself says one shouldn’t take the film too literally)  and even presents Mallory’s upbringing as a demented TV sitcom; and the film is so ugly that it fails even as entertainment. I cannot recommend this movie. 1/10 stars. 

Would it Work for a Bad Movie Night?: Possibly. Take a drink any time you find yourself asking: “why am I watching this?” 

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110632/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0

O Brother Where Art Thou? (2000)

Please click the links to read my reviews of a few other Coen Brothers films: Blood Simple, The Big Lebowski, No Country for Old Men, Burn After Reading, The Hudsucker Proxy, Raising Arizona, Miller’s Crossing, True Grit, and The Man Who Wasn’t There. 

Synopsis: Did you ever want to see The Odyssey performed by hillbillies? Today is your lucky day…. 

Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “Disenchanted with the daily drudge of crushing rocks on a prison farm in Mississippi, the dapper, silver-tongued Ulysses Everett McGill (George Clooney, The Perfect Storm) busts loose.” 

What Did I Learn?: 1) Apparently, the Devil is a white guy with empty eyes, and a big, hollow voice and he likes to travel with a mean old hound. 2) You can’t display a toad in a fine restaurant. 3) Jesus saves, but George “Babyface” Nelson withdraws. 

You Might Like This Movie If: you always wanted to see ancient Greek stories come to life without any ancient Greeks. 

Really?: 1) Gee….what are the odds of the State of Mississippi treating a chain gang of prisoners to an afternoon matinee at the local matinee in the early 1930s? Even better, what are the odds of Pete (John Turturro playing against type) not only being a member of that extremely lucky chain gang, but arriving shortly after Everett and Delmar decided to catch a flick, and then ordered by the guard to sit just a few rows behind his fellow partners in crime?   Now that’s a coinky-dink! 2) Did I miss something? How did Homer Stokes know the Soggy Bottom Boys were escaped convicts, or that Tommy had sold his soul to the Devil? 

Rating: O Brother Where Art Thou is a uniquely original - and humorous - retelling of Homer’s classic tale, and well worth checking out, even if you aren’t a fan of bluegrass music. Highly recommended. 9/10 stars. 

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0190590/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0

Christmas in July (1940)

Synopsis: Hilarity ensues when world’s most gullible captain of industry rewards cocksure-but-untalented hack for developing possibly the worst slogan in the history of marketing. 

Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “This madcap 1940 Preston Sturges masterpiece stars Dick Powell as a go-getter clerk in a coffee company who’s fooled into thinking he’s won a $25,000 prize for inventing a sales slogan.” 

What Did I Learn?: If you can’t sleep, it isn’t the coffee. It’s the bunk. [That’s the prize-winning sales slogan, by the way. Jimmy asserts there’s no scientific basis for thinking that coffee prevents one from getting a good night’s sleep, but didn’t the scientific community discover caffeine in the early 19th century? Wouldn’t most ordinary Americans know about the presence of caffeine in coffee in 1940?]

You Might Like This Movie If: The title appeals to you. 

Really?: 1) See: “What Did I Learn?” Holy shit, if I have to hear that terrible contest entry one more time, I’m going to snap. Why do different characters repeat it 20 or 30 times? Come to think of it, what’s the deal with all of the unnecessary and grating “hello”s, “goodbye”s and “goodnight”s? Didn’t anyone edit this script before it went into production? 2) Wait, Jimmy works for a rival coffee company when he enters the Maxford House Coffee contest, he announces his success, and there aren’t any repercussions? I’m pretty sure Coca-Cola doesn’t allow its employees to gulp down cans of Pepsi in the lunchroom. 3) I had a bit of trouble believing: a) the Maxford House Coffee company would decide to choose and then announce its new slogan just minutes before the news is scheduled to be broadcast nation-wide, and b) Dr. Maxford would hand over a cheque for $25,000 to Jimmy based solely on a telegram anyone could have sent and Jimmy’s self-confidence. 4) So, Jimmy and Betty receive the cheque and immediately go on a spending spree? Wouldn’t it make more sense to take the cheque to his bank, first? 

Rating: Christmas in July is a contrived, but cute little film (literally - it’s only an hour and seven minutes long!) that’s probably best enjoyed as a time capsule from a bygone era. The film delivers a few laughs, and it’s difficult to dislike Jimmy even though he’s rather full of himself, but I have to deduct a few stars for a very abrupt and not terribly satisfying ending. 6/10 stars. 

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0032338/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_1