Sunday, June 16, 2019

Bridge to Nowhere (2009)

Synopsis: It’s a bit like a very low-budget remake of Scarface… starring the Backstreet Boys. 
Blurb From the DVD Jacket: 
What Did I Learn?: Drug dealers aren’t that keen on giving out volume discounts. 
You Might Like This Movie If: You figure it must be a nice little travelogue
Really?: 1) So, Ving Rhames is in this movie for what – 20 minutes of screen time, and he gets top billing? 2) Funny how Nate (Rhames) warns the boys about some of the troubles associated with pimping hookers (ex. Not receiving all of the cash afterwards, Johns who decide not to pay, STDs, etc…) and they encounter none of these issues during their meteoric rise. 3) Sure….appoint the goofiest, wimpiest and least-threatening member of the gang to protect the girls when they go out on calls. 4) I can understand Brian (Ben Crowley) reluctantly going along with killing his murdering his old pal Eddie (who is in jail, and getting ready to sing like a canary), but why would he feel the need to bump off Darick and Chris? All they want to do is leave the business before Eddie tells the cops what they want to hear. 5) Hmm….Nate informs Brian that the mob will soon start to tax his enterprise by significantly raising the price of the drugs he purchases, and this plot point is never addressed again. 
Rating: Bridge to Nowhere is a slow-moving, predictable, badly-written, poorly-acted, and ultimately disappointing crime drama that features some nice shots of Pittsburgh and a few interesting scenes (I enjoyed watching Nate’s first encounter with the four goofballs), but not much else. I cannot recommend this movie. 3/10 stars. 
Would it Work for a Bad Movie Night?: No, but take a drink any time you realize you don’t give a flying crap what happens to the four main characters. 

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