Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Gleaming the Cube (1989)

Synopsis: Live-action Bart Simpson wannabe investigates overachieving bro’s murder.

Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “Teen idol CHRISTIAN SLATER (TUCKER) stars with STEVEN BAUER (THIEF OF HEARTS) and RICHARD HERD (PLANES, TRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES) in this electrifying action-thriller of an international contraband ring whose illicit business turns to murder. Featuring some of the most ‘death-defying skateboarding’ (Los Angeles Daily News) and chase scenes ever filmed, GLEAMING THE CUBE takes you on a non-stop adventure you’ll never forget!”

Really?: 1) Christian Slater crashes though a plate-glass window, and he’s ready to engage in a high-speed chase immediately afterwards. 2) Can somebody explain why Slater decides to pilfer Colonel Trac’s Zippo lighter and ball cap? Up until then, he didn’t seem like a thief, and the act struck me as a poorly-constructed plot device to get the Colonel’s daughter involved. 3) Christian Slater skateboards underneath a moving tractor-trailer? I don’t think so.

Rating: Gleaming the Cube falls somewhere between being a fun bad movie and a not-so-bad motion picture. It’s surprisingly good up until the third act when the villains panic, a huge chase develops, and Christian Slater is suddenly performing skateboarding moves that even Tony Hawk wouldn’t attempt. (Oops – Tony Hawk is in this movie!)  Totally Rad! 6/10 stars.

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