Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Terminal Island (1973)

Synopsis: It’s basically a cheesy, badly-written, and poorly-acted low-budget version of Escape From New York....featuring Magnum and TC!

Blurb From the DVD Jacket: “Magnum PI co-stars Tom Selleck and Roger Mosley team up in this intense, action-packed drama. Following the Supreme Court decision to outlaw the death penalty, California passes an initiative that designates San Bruno Island as a dumping spot for first degree murderers.” 

What Did I Learn?: Apparently, it’s really, really easy to manufacture gunpowder from a few rocks on an island. 

Really?: 1) A co-ed prison? And all of the women happen to be smokin’ hot? Well, that explains the absence of any male-on-male rape. 2) So, why does Monk (Mosley) and the others take orders from Bobby, who looks like he couldn’t fight his way out of a paper bag?  3) Who exactly are the rebels on the island, and why are they feuding with Bobby’s group? More to the point, why are we supposed to care one way or the other about them? 

Rating: As a fan of the Magnum PI TV series, I wanted to like Terminal Island, but it’s just plain awful for a number of reasons (see: “Synopsis,” “Really?” and “What Did I Learn?”), and imagine my surprise when I discovered that Selleck and Mosley don’t even exchange any dialogue with each other! I cannot recommend this movie. 3/10 stars.

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