Wonder Boys (2000)

Synopsis: It’s basically 112 minutes of rumpled literary snobs driving around a run-down college town in the dead of winter. 

Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “During a single hectic weekend, college professor Grady Tripp (Michael Douglas) scrambles to gather together a life that has suddenly reeled out of control.” 

What Did I Learn?: 1) Wearing a ratty old women’s bathrobe will not help you become a better writer. 2) Writers need to make choices, and um....nobody wants to read a 2600-page novel. 

You Might Like This Movie If: You've always wanted to see Michael Douglas as a confused authority figure.

 

Really?: So, wait... Grady rents out a room to Hannah (Katie Holmes), and she’s also one of his students? Wouldn’t that relationship raise some eyebrows? 

Rating: Wonder Boys bombed at the box office shortly after it was released, but it’s actually a clever, and funny, and highly enjoyable little gem of a film. Douglas plays against type as a burnt-out, pot-smoking goofball, and he’s supported by an impressive cast (although Holmes’ role seems a little tacked-on). Highly recommended. 9/10 stars. 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0185014/?ref_=nv_sr_1

The American (2010)

Synopsis: Dangerous assassin drinks a lot of espresso, and, um....that’s about it, really. 

Blurb From the DVD Jacket: “After a job ends more violently than expected, Jack (George Clooney) retreats to the Italian countryside and accepts one last assignment to construct a deadly weapon for a mysterious contact.” 

What Did I Learn?: It’s rather difficult to sympathize with a movie protagonist after he murders an innocent woman in cold blood within the first 5-10 minutes. 

You Might Like This Movie If: You'll watch anything that involves something that's American, and potentially lethal.

 

Really?: 1) See: “What Did I Learn?” 2) Considering at least a third of the dialogue is in Italian, I have to seriously ask why the subtitles appear in an illegible 8-point font. This has to be one of the worst professional captioning jobs I’ve ever seen. 3) So, who is Jack? Why did he become an assassin? Why doesn’t he have a woman in his life? Who does he work for, exactly? Gee... don’t you need to actually flesh out a character in order to create a character-driven drama? 4) I still can’t believe Roger Ebert gave this movie a glowing review. 

Rating: While I have to applaud George Clooney for playing against type in The American, the film itself is boring, grim, and completely humourless. By the end, I simply didn’t care what happened to Jack, because Director Anton Corbijn never gave me a reason to care. I cannot recommend this movie. 4/10 stars. 

Would It Work For a Bad Movie Night?: Nah, it’s far too dull. But take a drink every time Clooney sits in a cafe, looking cool. 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1440728/?ref_=rvi_tt

The Hot Spot (1990)

Synopsis: It’s the movie that catapulted a post-Miami Vice Don Johnson’s career into the A-list stratosphere! Well, not really.... but it is chock full of some awesome T&A. 

Blurb From the DVD Jacket: “Harry Madox (Don Johnson) is a handsome drifter who is not above larceny to make ends meet. After staging a daring daylight robbery at a local bank, he receives an alibi from an unexpected ally: Dolly Harshaw (Virginia Madsen), a sexy and mysterious local woman who has her own plans for him.” 

What Did I Learn?: Virginia Madsen and Jennifer Connolly both look amazing when topless. 

You Might Like This Movie If: You want to hear the song that was used (along with another song) to create a St Germain classic. 

Really?: 1) So, wait...  Dolly (Madsen) bumps off her husband and inherits his sizeable fortune, and her big ambition thereafter is to trap some sleazy drifter into a loveless relationship with her? Huh? 2) Hold on... Gloria (Connolly) makes it clear she never had a same-sex relationship with her now-dead friend, but Frank (William Sadler) has incriminating pictures of her comforting the other girl. What’s the big deal? And why couldn’t she simply leave town if people jumped to the wrong conclusion after seeing the photos? Toughing-it-out, or moving to Houston or Dallas seem like much better options than stealing from one’s employer to pay off a blackmailer. 

Rating: The Hot Spot is a little clichéd, and its plot doesn’t always make a lot of sense, but I’ve always liked the mood and atmosphere of this nearly-forgotten film noir. Johnson is the epitome of cool, Madsen and Connolly are incredibly sexy (albeit in completely different ways), and we’re even treated to some wonderful blues, including the haunting “Harry’s Philosophy,” by the great John Lee Hooker. Check it out if you get the chance. 8.5/10 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099797/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Terminal Island (1973)

Synopsis: It’s basically a cheesy, badly-written, and poorly-acted low-budget version of Escape From New York....featuring Magnum and TC!

Blurb From the DVD Jacket: “Magnum PI co-stars Tom Selleck and Roger Mosley team up in this intense, action-packed drama. Following the Supreme Court decision to outlaw the death penalty, California passes an initiative that designates San Bruno Island as a dumping spot for first degree murderers.” 

What Did I Learn?: Apparently, it’s really, really easy to manufacture gunpowder from a few rocks on an island. 

You Might Like This Movie If: You know that being trapped on an island can really bring out the worst in people.

 

Really?: 1) A co-ed prison? And all of the women happen to be smokin’ hot? Well, that explains the absence of any male-on-male rape. 2) So, why does Monk (Mosley) and the others take orders from Bobby, who looks like he couldn’t fight his way out of a paper bag?  3) Who exactly are the rebels on the island, and why are they feuding with Bobby’s group? More to the point, why are we supposed to care one way or the other about them? 

Rating: As a fan of the Magnum PI TV series, I wanted to like Terminal Island, but it’s just plain awful for a number of reasons (see: “Synopsis,” “Really?” and “What Did I Learn?”), and imagine my surprise when I discovered that Selleck and Mosley don’t even exchange any dialogue with each other! I cannot recommend this movie. 3/10 stars. 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070782/?ref_=rvi_tt

North by Northwest (1959)

Alfred Hitchcock Movie #5

Synopsis: Did you ever want to see Don Draper dodge bullets, steal a truck, ruin an auction and become a fugitive from justice? This is your lucky day...

Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “Roger Thornhill (Cary Grant) is not a spy. And he’s certainly no murderer. Nevertheless, Thornhill’s a wanted man: enemy agents want him dead, the police want him arrested, and a cool, mysterious blonde (Eva Marie Saint) just plain wants him.” 

What Did I Learn?: The ability to drink large quantities of alcohol is a useful skill; you never know when some thug might pour a pint of bourbon down your throat against your will and place you behind the wheel of a stolen car. 

You Might Like This Movie If: You'll watch anything that involves Mount Rushmore.

 

Really?: 1) Why didn’t the porter continue to page Mr. Kaplan after speaking with Thornhill? Come to think of it, why did the baddies seriously think they could smoke out a super-secret-agent by simply paging him? 2) Wait just a New York Minute.... how in the world could Thornhill escape from the UN after everybody saw him assassinate X? 3) I realize this movie was made in 1959, but I had an extremely hard time believing Thornhill could simply jump on a train to Chicago without a ticket even though the cops know he’s somewhere in Grand Central Station. Wouldn’t they simply lock down GCS? And what are the odds of him getting on the very same train as the villains, even though it was entirely a spur-of-the-moment decision? 

Rating: It’s funny: North by Northwest was released over half a century ago, but it’s still fresh, and incredibly compelling. Cary Grant is at the top of his game in this film, and he shares some wonderful chemistry with EMS. Interestingly, North by Northwest heavily influenced the early James Bond movies, and there are a number of scenes that are eerily reminiscent of From Russia with Love. Highly recommended. 9/10 stars. 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0053125/?ref_=nv_sr_1