Tin Men (1987)

Barry Levinson’s Baltimore, Movie #2 (Tin Men is sort-of a sequel to Diner in the sense that Michael Tucker plays the same character, a home improvement salesman, in both films) 

Synopsis: Even JFK-era flim-flam artists had problems….

Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “Cruise back to Baltimore, 1963, to the time and turf of a rare American breed: the ‘tin man’ (aluminum siding salesman). Two less-than-honest rivals in the tin game (Richard Dreyfuss and Danny DeVito) meet in a fender bender, but their bruised egos and quick tempers turn the minor accident into a major vendetta against each other’s symbols of success – their prized Cadillacs.” 

What Did I Learn?: 'Bonanza' was not an accurate depiction of the west.

You Might Like This Movie If: You can't really see yourself surrounding your home with strips of aluminum.

 

Really?: 1) Holy crap – take a drink every time we see aluminum siding salesmen sitting down to breakfast in a diner. 2) Yeah… I don’t think the Fine Young Cannibals sound all that 1963-ish. Just my opinion. 

Rating: Tin Men is a well-written, and often-funny film that seems to fade in the third act – I came away with the impression that Levinson wasn’t too sure how to end this story, so he simply contrived an ending. And while the leads (Dreyfus, DeVito and Barbara Hershey) enjoy some great chemistry, it’s a bit difficult to sympathize with Babowski (Dreyfus) after he seduces and steals Tilley’s wife; I mean, it’s one thing to con gullible homeowners into shelling out thousands of dollars for crappy aluminum siding (the cons are the best part of the film), but that’s low. 7/10 stars. 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094155/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Diner (1982)

Barry Levinson’s Baltimore Movie #1

Synopsis: Elvis-era knuckleheads shoot the shit. 

Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “You’re in for a real treat at the Diner – a rare contemporary comedy with wit, pathos and bite. This lively and penetrating tale of a group of friends trying to recapture their lost innocence created an immediate sensation among audiences and critics.” 

What Did I Learn?: “Nuance” isn’t really a word, although “gesture” certainly is. 

You Might Like This Movie If: You know that a lot of interesting conversations can take place in a diner.

 

Really?: A football trivia quiz? Eddie seriously wants his fiancée to take – and pass – a football trivia quiz before he’ll consent to marry her? Ok, maybe he would do that, but wouldn’t his friends or a family member sit down with him and say: “Eddie, this is a really bad idea”?

Rating: Diner is a little short on plot, but it’s a funny and rather compelling character-driven drama about a group of young men who have been thrown into adulthood, and yet they have no idea of how to adapt. The film also features an incredible cast of before-they-were-famous actors: Mickey Rourke, Kevin Bacon, Ellen Barkin, Daniel Stern, Paul Reiser, Tim Daly and Gutenberg. Highly recommended. 9/10 stars. 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083833/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

The Sure Thing (1985)

Escape into the 1980s #3 (Dang – this would have been perfect for my tribute to John Cusack a little while ago) 

Synopsis: Wisecracking, rough-around-the-edges guy sweet-talks studious, overly-planned, wealthy ice princess. They hate each other just long enough to realize they’re really in love. Hey, that’s original! 

Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “Meet Walter ‘Gib’ Gibson (JOHN CUSACK), a highly-spirited, spontaneous young guy and self-proclaimed junk food addict. After striking out with the girls in high school, Gib begins his freshman year at an Eastern college full of hope for improving his lovelife. Enter Alison Bradbury (DAPHNE ZUNIGA), prim and proper, well-organized and extremely annoyed by Gib.” 

What Did I Learn?: 1) You can’t name a kid “Elliott” – that’s a fat kid with glasses who eats paste. 2) Spontaneity has its time and place. 3) Every relationship starts with a one-night-stand. 

You Might Like This Movie If: You figure it must be an hour-and-forty-minute long St. Germain video.

 

Really?: 1) Hold on – Alison gets mad at Gib for travelling cross-country just to get laid? She has a boyfriend!! 2) I had a great deal of trouble believing: a) Alison would flash her breasts at a passing car just because she was egged on by Gib, and b) that Gary would leave the two of them stranded in the middle of nowhere. 3) You could see Alison dating a rich, alpha-male jock, but a tea-drinking, Scrabble-playing nerd? Come on…. 

Rating: I hadn’t watched The Sure Thing for at least two decades, and I’m saddened to say that while the film has a few nice moments, it hasn’t aged all that well. Cusack wildly overacts, the script is incredibly contrived (see: “Really?”) and not terribly funny, and the whole thing seems pretty dopey and unoriginal (see: “Synopsis”). 5.5/10 stars. 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090103/?ref_=rvi_tt

Bright Lights, Big City (1988)

Escape into the 1980s #2

Synopsis: Self-destructive young idiot learns the hard way that you can’t stay up until dawn, snort an anthill of cocaine and down 18 double vodkas every night without paying some sort of price. 

Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “Michael J. Fox is Jamie Conway, an aspiring writer who trades the wheat fields of Kansas for the imposing skyline of Manhattan – and the seductive party culture hidden within.” 

What Did I Learn?: If you walk in on two attractive women making out in the washroom, and one of them asks if you would like to join in, the correct answer is: “yes, please!” 

You Might Like This Movie If: Just like Jamie Conway (and Dillinger), you're obsessed with New York, and you have cocaine on your brain.

 

Really?: 1) See: “Synopsis” (Come to think of it, that’s pretty much the same question I asked about the protagonist in Wall Street: I realize Conway is somewhere in his 20s, but how in the world can he hold down a job and still go clubbing until the break of dawn every night?)  2) Kiefer Sutherland is outstanding as Conway’s asshole best buddy, but I’m not sure I really buy Phoebe Cates as a fashion model, or Michael J. Fox as a coke-snorting alcoholic. 3) See: “What Did I Learn?”

Rating: Bright Lights, Big City is an interesting time capsule that features both a star-studded cast (including Jason Robards in a wonderful, but uncredited appearance as a boozy editor), and a kick-ass soundtrack. Written by Jay McInery, and based on his novel, the film is intelligent  and surprisingly moving at times, thanks to a small-but-memorable performance by Dianne Wiest. Fox does his best with the material, but I had the same reaction from this movie as I did from Casualties of War: he’s just not that good with dramatic roles. 8/10 stars. 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094799/?ref_=rvi_tt

Wall Street (1987)

Escape Into the 1980s #1

Synopsis: It’s Oliver Stone’s scathing critique of dog-eat-dog capitalism that um…. somehow manages to make it look like a whole lot of fun. 

Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “In this riveting, behind-the-scenes look at big business in the 1980s, an ambitious young broker (CHARLIE SHEEN) is lured into the illegal, lucrative world of corporate espionage when he is seduced by the power, status and financial wizardry of Wall Street legend Gordon Gekko (MICHAEL DOUGLAS).” 

What Did I Learn?: 1) If you need a friend, get a dog. 2) Money's only something you need in case you don't die tomorrow... 3) Man looks in the abyss, there's nothing staring back at him. At that moment, man finds his character. And that is what keeps him out of the abyss. 4) greed, for lack of a better word, is good. 5) There's no nobility in poverty. 6) What's worth doing is worth doing for money. 7) If you're not inside, you're *outside*! 8) It's not always the most popular person who gets the job done. 9) Money never sleeps.

You Might Like This Movie If: You'll watch anything that features Charlie Sheen.

 

Really?: 1) Does Bud ever actually sleep in this movie? How can he work 15 or 16-hour days (not to mention posing as a cleaning contractor at night) without that lack of sleep catching up with him? Come to think of it, he doesn’t spend much time at the office in the second half of the film. 2) Hmm… so, Darien has genuine feelings for Bud? That seems a bit incongruous with the rest of her behaviour. I’m not sure if Oliver Stone wrote her part all that well. 3) Wait, did Gekko rat out Bud to the S.E.C. or did they discover his insider trading on their own? This isn’t entirely clear. 

Rating: I’ve never been a huge fan of Oliver Stone’s movies, but Wall Street is an enjoyable morality play that features nice performances from both Charlie Sheen and Michael Douglas. Wall Street is a good film that is hobbled by a script that’s a bit too obvious (I always wince when Martin Sheen suddenly screams out the word: "wallet!"), and characters who needlessly editorialize. 8/10 stars. 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094291/?ref_=nv_sr_1