Another 48 HRs (1990)

Not Quite a Beverly Hills Cop Movie (Please click the link to read my review of 48 HRs)

Synopsis:  The boys are back in town...to milk a tired franchise and ruin our memories of a pretty good action-comedy-thriller.

Blurb From the VHS Jacket: "Here they go again. Only faster. And tougher. Reggie Hammond (Eddie Murphy) and Jack Cates (Nick Nolte) return in the smash sequel that's 'better than the first!' (Pat Collins, WWOR-TV)."

What Did I Learn?: If you've angered somebody enough that you're seriously concerned he may hit you, it's not a great idea to share information about recent personal injuries.

You Might Like This Movie If: You've always wanted to see Eddie Murphy crank out mindless fluff as he wears a neatly-pressed grey suit.

Really?: Man, where do I begin? I could point out any number of obvious plot holes, but let me say that: a) I had a hard time believing the biggest drug dealer in the San Francisco/Oakland area has a shitty day job, b) it's amazing how Reggie's buddy in the slammer (Bernie Casey) seems to know everything, c) I'm not sure how Cates could keep going after getting shot in the shoulder (or how Reggie could walk away from that bus without a scratch), and d) I had no idea revolvers could fire 20-odd shots without re-loading.

Rating: Ugh. Another 48 HRs is just plain awful; the plot makes absolutely no sense, and the film seems more like a tired remake of the original 48 HRs (right down to Eddie singing "Roxanne" one more time) than an actual sequel. The worst problem, however, involves the leads: while Nolte and Murphy shared some genuine chemistry in the first film, neither man is even remotely funny this time around, and their juvenile back-and-forth becomes tiresome. I cannot recommend this movie. 4/10 stars.

Would It Work For a Bad Movie Night?: Take a drink every time Reggie says something along the lines of "I'm done with you!", and every time Jack sasses a fellow police officer.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099044/?ref_=sr_1

Beverly Hills Cop III (1994)

Beverly Hills Cop Movie #3

Synopsis: It's the Godfather Part III / Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles of the Beverly Hills Cop movies.

Blurb From the DVD Jacket: “Axel Foley (Eddie Murphy) journeys back to Beverly Hills for a real roller coaster thrill ride at the Wonderworld amusement park! Joined by old pals Billy Rosewood (Judge Reinhold) and Serge (Bronson Pinchot), Axel becomes the hottest new attraction as he chases down the bad guys on the rides, through the shows and in the underground maze beneath the park.”

What Did I Learn?: Yeesh...maybe Beverly Hills Cop II wasn't all that bad.

You Might Like This Movie If: Um... you probably won't like this movie.

Really?: 1) So, where's Bogomil? Come to think of it, Axel meets Serge for the first time in years, and neither man mentions Jenny Summers, the only person (aside from Victor Maitland and Michael Tandino) they have in common. 2) Upon identifying Ellis De Wald as Todd's killer, shouldn't Foley's next move have been to contact the Detroit District Attorney and ask for an arrest warrant, or an extradition order, or something? 3) So, Billy is no longer a plant-loving gun nut? Oh well...no explanations necessary. 4) Um... there's no way in the world I'm buying any of that "Spider" ride rescue sequence; Foley would have fallen any number of times as he jumped from cage to cage, and he then he somehow saves two children while hanging from a rope - one-handed? Bullshit.

Rating: Beverly Hills Cop III is atrocious on many levels. While it's hardly the worst movie I've ever seen, it's a huge letdown once you've seen the first BHC. Interestingly, the first two films were also revenge thrillers, yet they had a sense of insouciant fun that's clearly missing from this movie, even though it's largely set in an amusement park; come on - Axel Foley staying in a shitty motel, and never once pulling a con? Instead, we're treated to numerous scenes of Foley holding a gun to De Wald's neck, or beating the shit/attempting to beat the shit out of him, and it gets old, fast. The action scenes aren't credible, the "comedy" isn't funny, and the soundtrack stinks, big time (although the down-tempo, tuba version of Axel F was sort-of cute). I cannot recommend this movie. 3/10 stars.

Would It Work For a Bad Movie Night?: Take a drink every time Axel Foley says the word "killer".

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109254/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2

Beverly Hills Cop II (1987)

Beverly Hills Cop Movie #2

Synopsis: It's essentially 103 minutes of Eddie Murphy screaming at people, punctuated with gunfire, explosions and car chases.

Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “The heat’s back on! And Eddie Murphy is cool as ever in this sizzling, smash-hit sequel to Beverly Hills Cop. Axel Foley (Murphy) is back – back where he doesn’t belong! He’s going ‘deep, deep, deep undercover’ into the chic wilds of Southern California, unleashing his arsenal of blazing gunfire and rapid-fire gags against a gang of international munitions smugglers”

What Did I Learn?: Apparently, high-end jewelry stores in Beverly Hills didn't think to install security cameras in the late 1980s, so identifying a 6-foot-tall blonde would have been impossible.

You Might Like This Movie If: you'll watch anything from the late 1980s that involves alphabet-related crimes.

Really?: Wow...where do I begin? Do I start at the very beginning and ask why the *Detroit* Police Department would spend over 60 grand on a car for Axel Foley, when even Crockett and Tubbs used vehicles and clothes that were confiscated from drug dealers? Do I ask why Foley, Bogomil, Rosewood and Taggart are now the best of friends, when there was *at best* some grudging respect at the end of the first movie? Do I point out the obvious plot holes (Bogomil's daughter works at the very same insurance firm used by the bad guy, and she has access to his files? The villains show up as guests at Hugh Hefner's place immediately after a robbery? And why alphabetize the crimes at all?) Oh, and why did Foley have to throw out Rosewood's perfectly good vitamins?

Rating: Beverly Hills Cop II has a few decent action sequences, and some nice buddy chemistry between Foley, Rosewood and Taggart, but it's a borderline bad movie for a few reasons: a) the plot makes no sense, b) the villains (including the nasty and incompetent police chief) are all one-dimensional cartoons, and c) - this is a big one - Axel Foley is a loud, boorish, unfunny, and obnoxious asshole in this film. Seriously, it's hard to sympathize with  a guy whose idea of pulling a disguise is to scream in somebody's face for several minutes until they give him what he wants. I'm barely recommending Beverly Hills Cop II. 5.5/10 stars.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092644/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Beverly Hills Cop (1984)

Beverly Hills Cop Movie #1 (Hmm...this would have been perfect for my Revenge theme last year!)

Synopsis: Smartass from America's toilet teaches by-the-book law enforcement officers a few valuable tips including: harassment, breaking-and-entering, lying to a superior, impersonating a customs official, and theft.

Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “The heat is on in this fast paced action-comedy starring Eddie Murphy as Axel Foley, a street smart Detroit cop tracking down his best friend’s killer in Beverly Hills.”

What Did I Learn?: Police officers are far more likely to trust a respected businessman like Victor Maitland than a foul-mouthed jerk from out of town.

You Might Like This Movie If: you can't get enough of a certain, and rather famous piece of music.

Really?: 1) So, are hotel managers and desk clerks extremely gullible? Come to think of it, isn't it highly probably that somebody in the bonded warehouse would ask to take a closer look at Foley's quickly-flashed badge? 2) So, Rosewood is given a direct order to drive Foley to the outskirts of the city, and... he instead allows Foley and Jenny to enter Maitland's warehouse? How many cops would do that? 3) It's amazing how everything is wrapped up in a nice, neat little package at the end of the film. Wouldn't Internal Affairs, or some other police investigative unit want to look into everything that took place at the Maitland residence?

Rating: Originally written with Sylvester Stallone in mind for the lead, Beverly Hills Cop is a perfect blend of action and comedy, with a kickass soundtrack to keep things moving. Eddie Murphy was at the top of his game when he made this film, and he enjoys some nice chemistry with Judge Reinhold and John Ashton (Rosewood and Taggart). Beverly Hills Cop is a classic - highly recommended. 9/10 stars.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086960/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Without a Clue (1988)

Synopsis: It's Holmes and Watson, re-imagined as Dubya and Cheney.

Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “What if Dr. Watson were the real master crime solver, and Sherlock Holmes merely a figment of Watson’s imagination? That’s the stage for this delightful comedy.”

What Did I Learn?: Deductive reasoning really isn't for everyone.

You Might Like This Movie If: You get a kick out of crappy detectives named Sherlock.

Really?: Without a Clue is a screwball comedy, so it might not be entirely fair to judge it along these lines. That said, considering the fact that "Holmes" often gets drunk, and frequently makes incredibly boneheaded remarks, I had a hard time believing he and Watson could keep such a charade going for very long.

Rating: Without a Clue is a charming, yet forgettable little comedy from the late 1980s. The story and dialogue are a bit weak (it's basically a one-joke movie: Holmes and Watson don't like each other very much, and they bicker all over Victorian England), and the finale a tad lackluster, but Ben Kingsley and Michael Caine enjoy some outstanding comedic chemistry together, and the film is a lot of fun. 7/10 stars.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096454/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Comments

You may have noticed that I recently adjusted the settings to make it much more difficult to leave comments on this blog. I took this action very reluctantly, but I think it was necessary.

Nearly all of the published comments on Schuster at the Movies are spam, and I found that my friends are far more likely to opine on my movie reviews through Facebook.

The spam itself isn’t much of a problem (to me, anyway), but two days ago, I received a legitimate message from a fan who left a comment on the Dr. No review. Apparently, he/she currently receives four or five junk emails a day.

Obviously, this is unacceptable. My apologies to anyone who has experienced a deluge of unwanted emails after leaving a comment.

Let’s make comments a Facebook-only activity.

Thanks,

Eli

Cadence (1990)

Hmm... Cadence isn't exactly a Vietnam movie, although it takes place somewhere in the 1960s, and Charlie Sheen gets shipped out right at the end. It's an interesting companion film to Platoon.

Synopsis: Charlie Sheen arrives at the startling realization that he isn't black.

Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “When the rebellious Private Bean (CHARLIE SHEEN) lands himself in an army stockade, he finds that all of his new roommates belong to tightly-knit club that he can never hope to join. They are black.. and he is clearly not.”

What Did I Learn?: If you're in prison and the warden makes an effort to be your friend (non-sexual, that is), for fuck's sake, play along and don't be an asshole.

You Might Like This Movie If: You've always wanted to see Charlie Sheen go to jail.

Really?: 1) So...what were the other prisoners accused of doing? We hear two of their stories, but what about Stokes (Fishburne), or Sweetbread? 2) Funny how this movie is supposed to be a period piece yet very little effort is made to make it seem like the mid-1960s. Come to think of it, both Germany and Bean's hometown in the US look awfully similar to each other. 3) Hmm... up until the very end, I don't think there was ever any mention of Sweetbread wandering off on his own. 4) Evil sergeant McKinney (Martin Sheen) hands out "gigs" (demerits) like condoms at a brothel, but they never seem to lead to any consequences.

Rating: I didn't know what to expect from Cadence, but it's a nice, little low-budget movie that somehow fell down the memory hole after it was released two decades ago. Charlie Sheen enjoys some obvious chemistry with his father, and with Fishburne and the other prisoners, and there are a number of memorable moments. That said, I have a few complaints: a) the opening scenes featuring Bean at his father's funeral, and then getting the tattoo are unnecessary, b) McKinney is a jerk, but neither Bean nor the other prisoners ever appear to be in all that much trouble/danger until the end of the movie, and c) I'm not sure I approve of the message of this film... Bean realizes he has to be a team player, and goes to Vietnam determined to be a better soldier? I dunno. 6.5/10 stars.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101531/

Blow (2001)

Dang - this would have been perfect for my salute to addiction movies!

Synopsis: Bloke likes to toke, smuggles coke, marries pig-in-a-poke, winds up broke and a big joke.  

Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “Based on a true story, Blow chronicles the high-speed rise and fall of George Jung (Johnny Depp, Sleepy Hollow), who became the largest importer of Colombian cocaine in the United States, forever changing the face of drugs in America.”

What Did I Learn?: It's not a great idea to put your cash into a Panamanian bank for safe-keeping.

You Might Like This Movie If: You've always wanted to see Paul Reubens (aka Pee Wee Herman) in a drug movie. Oh wait...

Really?: 1) So... George's best friend, Tuna, simply disappears from the movie a the end of Act One? Maybe that's the way it happened in real life, but doesn't the audience deserve some explanation? 2)  I'm pretty sure that if I were wanted by the cops, and my mother dropped a dime to Five-Oh, I wouldn't speak to her again for a LONG time afterwards. 3) Um...I realize George is quite angry with Diego, but come on...pointing an empty gun at him in front of a dozen armed Colombian guards is just plain idiotic.

Rating: Blow is a well-made, but somewhat forgettable biopic about the guy who more-or-less created the American cocaine market in the 1970s and early 1980s. While Depp provides an impressive performance, his character is an obnoxious, self-absorbed jerk, and his wife (Penelope Cruz doesn't make an appearance until an hour so into the picture) isn't any better. Curiously, for a movie that showcases the drug business, it's strange that there aren't any action scenes (didn't Jung ever encounter rival dealers?) and it's tough to sympathize with  lowlife who never tried any other line of work, and made a whole lot of bad decisions. 6.5/10 stars.  

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0221027/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

To Live and Die in L.A. (1985)

Hmm...this would have been perfect for my Salute to Bad Cops!

Synopsis: It's chic! It's hip! It's the epitome of 1980s Miami Vice-style cool! It's... set almost entirely in: grubby office buildings, dingy apartments, junkyards, warehouses, the local prison, freeway underpasses and gang territory. Oh, and the heroes wear crappy clothes and drive domestic clunkers.  

Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “TO LIVE AND DIE IN L.A. is the widely acclaimed, exhilarating crime action-adventure of a U.S. Secret Service agent tracking his partner’s killer through the underside of Los Angeles.”

What Did I Learn?: "The cheque is in the mail," "I'll love you forever," and "I promise not to cum in your mouth," are all commonly-told lies.

You Might Like This Movie If: You always liked the music in this tacky commercial.

Really?: 1) Hmm... funny how this movie takes place from late December to late January, and yet there’s never any mention of either Christmas or New Year’s Eve. 2) So wait...Masters knows that Chance and Vukovich are cops, and yet he goes through with the deal, anyway? WTF? 3) And on a related note, why would Vukovich seek out legal advice regarding his own illegal activities from Masters' lawyer? Is he the only attorney he knows? 4) I have to wonder: how exactly would Chance explain to his boss that Masters agreed to the deal, even though no buy money was ever approved? 5) See "Synopsis".

Rating: To Live and Die in L.A. was one of my favourite films when I was younger, and it's still a fun little thriller that features both an incredibly exciting car chase and a kick-ass soundtrack from Wang Chung (City of the Angels and To Live and Die in L.A. are amazing tunes, while Wait  makes even the closing credits worth watching). Admittedly, the script could have used a bit of tightening-up (see "Really?"), which is why I can't give this film a perfect score, but it's still highly recommended. 9/10 stars.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090180/?ref_=sr_1

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (2002)

Synopsis: Gong Show impresario becomes killer for America's Central Intelligence Agency while simultaneously killing America's intelligence.

Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “While a maverick creator of America’s favorite game shows gains notoriety for his smash television shows, he is also drawn into a shadowy world of danger as a covert government operative!”

What Did I Learn?: According to one character: "Insane asylums are filled with people who think they're Jesus or Satan. Very few have delusions of being a guy down the block who works for an insurance company."

 

You Might Like This Movie If: You've always wanted to see a movie based on Chuck Barris' mental breakdown and The Gong Show. Oh wait...

Really?: 1) I've never worked in television before, but is it all that easy to take off from a successful show for a week or two, fly half-way around the world and kill people for Uncle Sam, when there are always a zillion details that need ironing out? 2) So, how does the CIA know so many supposedly-hidden details about Barris' life (the "strawberry dick" incident, or that his real father was a serial killer)? I think an explanation is in order, and it never arrives.

Rating: Confessions of a Dangerous Mind is a very strange, semi-biographical story of the legendary Chuck Barris; dark and creepy streetscapes from a LeCarré novel coexist with loud and garish game show sets. The movie is visually impressive and a lot of fun, but the protagonist is somewhat unlikeable, so it's difficult to relate to him. I realize Confessions is based upon Barris' pulp autobiography (although the film leaves out a LOT of details about his life - it won't tell you he had a daughter, or that he's been married several times), but it might have worked a bit better had it focused either on the television experiences, or on the spy stuff. For that matter, the movie tells us Barris had a mental breakdown in 1980, but presents the CIA segments as factual; a better approach might have been to left the audience guessing about whether or not the assassinations occurred only in Barris' head. 7.5/10 stars.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0270288/?ref_=sr_1

Wonderland (2003)

This movie would have been perfect for my salute to addiction flicks a couple of years ago!

Synopsis: Scumbag A breaks into the home of Scumbag B, and rips him off. Scumbag B retaliates by icing Scumbag A and his buddies. Scumbag C (a friend of A) claims the entire thing was orchestrated by Scumbag D. Not surprisingly, Scumbag D replies that Scumbag C is a lying piece of you-know-what. 

Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “On the afternoon of July 1, 1981, Los Angeles police responded to a distress call on Wonderland Avenue and discovered a grisly quadruple homicide. The police investigation that followed uncovered two versions of the events leading up to the brutal murders – both involving legendary porn actor John Holmes. You’re about to experience both versions.”

What Did I Learn?: If you sell cocaine, DON'T hang out with your cokehead clients. And if you're dumb enough to invite them into your place, for fuck's sake don't even THINK about revealing the existence or location of your personal safe.  

You Might Like This Movie If: You really want to see something unfortunate take place on Canada Day at Wonderland.

Really?: Wonderland is based upon a real-life crime, and it seems pretty true-to-form. That said, it seems bizarre that John Holmes would knock on Eddie Nash's door after the robberies, and guess what - according to imdb.com, he didn't. Nash's buddies saw him wearing some jewelry from the rip-off, and accosted him.

Rating: Wonderland is scuzzy with a capital S. The film opens with a difficult-to-watch scene involving Holmes' girlfriend taking advantage of the hospitality of a religious do-gooder (Carrie Fisher), but soon after becomes a compelling crime drama. Its biggest problem, however, is that none of the main characters are even remotely likeable (which wouldn't be a problem, except they aren't terribly interesting, either - cokeheads and thugs, mostly), so it's tough to give a crap about any of them. 7/10 stars.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0335563/?ref_=sr_4