Xanadu (1980)

Oblivious Neutron Bomb Double Feature! 

Synopsis: Apparently, this film received a one-sentence review shortly after its release: “In a word: Xana-don’t.” I can’t improve on that.

Blurb From the VHS Jacket: “The 40s meet the 80s in XANADU, a very special love story and the first lavish, old-fashioned musical to utilize today’s music.” 

What Did I Learn?: 1) Tuesday isn’t Wednesday. 2) Gene Kelly has been “known to twinkle a toe or two.” 3) Bandstands went out with running boards. 4) Zeus is a bit of a pushover. 5) It’s possible to visit Heaven, or Mount Olympus, or wherever the ancient Greek gods reside (the place looks like the world of Tron, by the way), but roller skating head-first into a brick wall.

You Might Like This Movie If: you've always wanted to see ONJ make an ill-advised foray into country music. 

Really?: 1) Oh man, where do I begin? Ok, Xanadu is a fantasy musical, so maybe I can overlook some of the weird sets, or the thinness of its plot, but I have to ask: A) How does Danny (Kelly) know where to find to find Sonny (Michael Beck), and how is he able to catch up to him in mere minutes after Sonny takes off on a “borrowed” motor-scooter? C) Does Danny have an unlimited supply of cash? Even in the late 1970s, I imagine those renovations to the amphitheater could cost millions. And why would he make Sonny a partner when Sonny doesn’t have any money to invest? D) I have to admit that the finished nightclub is pretty spectacular but, um…where are the paying customers? E) Could somebody please explain the ending? I’m still trying to sort out whether or not Sonny and Kira (Olivia Newton John) are back together, and how Kira manages to pull off so many costume changes.

Rating: Xanadu is a bizarre-yet-forgettable bad musical that’s loaded with bargain-basement special effects and terrible dialogue. I’ll admit the film has a few redeeming qualities such as several impressive musical numbers and likeable performances from Kelly and Newton John, but it’s not worth 96 minutes of your life. 4/10 stars. 

Would it Work For a Bad Movie Night?: Possibly. Take a drink any time you find yourself thinking: “wow….Sonny’s an idiot.”

Xanadu (1980) - IMDb